Hypersonic Tumble Dry

Episode Transcript

Well, hello. You're listening to International Feel over on one one point five UMFM or umfm dot com or international feel dot org channel six eighty one on Bell satellite. Yeah. We're just don't mind us. We're just washing some pants and throwing some clothes in the old laundry. It's laundry day. So Yeah. Yeah. Amount done. The amount of chocolate we have across all of our clothes. Chocolate is tough to get out. Yeah. Who would have thought? I was under the impression that chocolate was kinda like soap, but I guess I guess rubbing chocolate all over your pants is not recommended. No. Oxy chocolate. We're we're making a fresh batch, so Oh, yeah. Yeah. No. We're we're It's got messy. Yeah. It got super messy. We're having a bit of a chocolate fight in the kitchen. Yeah. And and in now that we're kind of washing up some of these clothes, we also have another batch of chocolate going in this other washing The best way to do it is in the washing machine. I just wanted to throw like a pound of chocolate in the the the washing machine to liquefy Yeah. Then we can convert it into syrup and then we can we can inject it into some lovely pastries later. How else do you get your melted chocolate? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Isn't that the way? I thought that you thought you have to use machinery like a washing machine. Yeah. Like industrial laundry. Yeah. I actually heard this kind of this tidbit from this old Norwegian man. Okay. He said to get your whites whiter, you throw a little bit of white chocolate. The white chocolate. White chocolate. That was the trick. In in with your in with your wash. And by a little it it was like a full A full chocolate bar. Full full size chocolate bar. Okay. So It makes sense. White chocolate. Good for good for Good for the whites. It's the white wash. It's a it's a kind of like a natural bleach. That that's what the this Norwegian man had me believe. Okay. I believe. Well, mean it. I will. I've got some white chocolate in my pocket. I'll throw it in with this Yeah. The load of white. So let's see how that turns out. See that. Yeah. And Alright. Well, thank thank you for that that good tip. Little tidbit. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I I love a good laundry tip. If you've got some laundry tips out there, please don't hesitate to call us at laundry tip line, two zero four two six nine eight six three six. We're looking for all the, laundry tips. How do you keep your whites white? Your How do you keep your brights bright? Brights bright? Tell us what those damn symbols mean. Brights. Yeah. Symbols. I'm looking on the inside of my shirts here and I can't decipher these symbols. There's like blocks with circles and x o x's out of them. It's like a I wish yeah. It's like a it's a pictograph. I can't I can't understand this. So I wish someone could enlighten me. Only there's a book or something. Hey. Well, if if you actually crawl down this space Yeah. Underneath the laundromat, there's a bunch of, like, books and tablets hidden. Yeah. That kinda looks like a clay tablet. Right? It's been Is that is that what you're holding? They look like they've been here for a long time. I this laundromat might have been here for a long time. Hey, that's the symbol on my shirt kinda looks like the symbol that you're you're holding. Well The tablet. Wait. What's that I've I've I've found a few of the symbols on this just, know, doing research cause that's what we do here. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we're nothing but trying to fact based show. That's a core mission. No. And like so this one is a sign used to early chemistry to denote alcohol. Oh. So I think that means you're supposed to put alcohol It's supposed to distill the shirt. Yeah. Okay. So if I'm not sure what, maybe vodka? If still the stains out of it. Okay. Okay. Maybe just a beer? We just pour a beer in there? Okay. Well, I'll I'll go because Maybe a glass of wine? Some tropical punch or like a rum punch. A rum punch. Maybe a nice white chardonnay. Oh, okay. Some white wine. Yeah. White wine also white and spritzer. Okay. Throw them all. Good thing this laundry laundromat has an open bar. Just throw them all in. What else what else is good for clothes? I like I I don't know. Is there any other like laundry Yeah. Think instructions in the manual? There's a lot to decipher here. Lot to decipher. I because I wanted to wash this this my my one piece. It's kind of like a mascot uniform. It's a giant rabbit. Don't judge. It's a giant sequin rabbit. Yeah. Giant sequin rabbit. Am I supposed to dry clean only or is this tumble dry or it's got this symbol on it. I can't really kinda make it out. Can you can you match it to something on that tablet over there? Well, this one says this is a sign for metal. Well, it's got some Used by the alchemist. Oh, alchemist. Okay. So Yeah. Apparently, there's some chemistry involved. Oh, okay. So we'll have to get the the scientists in the lab. We might have to get the lab on this. Okay. I don't know. I didn't know laundry was so complicated. Yeah. Is that clay, like, covering? It's not like can you peel some of that clay off? Yeah. Dust that dust it off. I've Is that really clay? I've got a few You said symbols to decipher on this clay piece here. No. No. Scratch scratch off a bit. Yeah. I'm gonna tear it away. Yeah. That oh, it comes out a little clearer. Yeah. Yeah. You can read it a little bit better. It kinda shines kind of with a golden shimmer. A sign for the asteroid Juno. What's that? The further details concerning the asteroids. Wait. Is this some sort of mystic tablet that you're That's heavy. That's heavy, guys. I don't think this is a laundry That's laundry. I think this is this is a gold tablet of mystic proportions. Think Do you think this thing is talking about that that new planet that's kind of like hanging around earth. This is an iconic sign. A picture of an object. The orb. The globe was a symbol of power. The orb. It's the orb. Used by the Roman emperors. Oh, it's old. Okay. It's an old orb. Okay. So we've we've uncovered a vast conspiracy linking laundry to a new planet hovering the sky. I think this laundry think we saw driving into the station here today. We did. Yeah. Yeah. There was something hovering There was something hovering around it. It looked like it was pointing kind of a a long lens in our direction. Yeah. At the Princess Stadium or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. It sounded It looked a bit ominous. Okay. Keep keep researching those tablets there, Maze. There's more to discover. There's there's too much here, guys. But we might have uncovered something. I think we were dark. I think we're on stevia. Yeah. Until our clothes are done and we can cover ourselves up and rejoin the Yeah. Society. You know, I think there may be a network of secret tunnels connecting the laundromat. If only we climb through the laundry machines, I think we might be able to Kind of like a da Vinci code, but Yeah. Laundromats. Yeah. Kind of a Da Vinci code mixed with Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Oh. Lion, the Witch, and the Laundry Romance. You know, laundry romance? Yeah. Well, la The Laundry Yeah. That's why you go to a laundromat for a laundry romance. Mhmm. Mhmm. Yeah. And then you join a secret society. Yeah. It's all there. It's got everything. I think that movie's gonna be great. It's a movie. Okay. This is real life. This is real life. Well You think this is a game? Well, it is kind of a a movie. That's probably what the the the helicopter with the cameras. They're cutting together a movie based on Mission Impossible. The new Mission Impossible is Tom Cruise doing stunts. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's still at it. Yeah. Still going strong. Does his own stunts. He's always gonna do his own stunts. Does his Can't stop him. Does his own stunts in Winnipeg for the tax breaks. Oh. The stunt tax. Well, International Feel, we're uncovering mysteries and doing laundry today. We're doing it all. So thanks for joining us. We're a live pretty pretty loose show, weekly show. Yeah. Because you won't stick to the script. I know. I know. Sorry. This I I left the script in my pants and I threw the pants in the laundry. All the work our writers do I know. Just toss it out. I know. I just I'm it's pretty disrespectful. I forgot mine and my pants, and they're in the washing machine. Well, I washed all of our pants. I collected all of our pants before we did the show. And I need my two scripts, one in each hand Yeah. So I can't share. Yeah. Sorry. Nate's Nate's he's too script Nate. Yeah. Too scripted. Yeah. Too scripted. Yeah. He he won't he won't go off script because he's just too professional like that. He'll read anything you can on paper. Yeah. As long as there's two copies of it on each end. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta cross reference. Constantly darting back and forth reading both scripts. Yeah. Whatever works for you, man. I think you do a good job. Yeah. I know. I you're I mean, you're you you speak better than both of us. To be fair, it's not like two copies of the same script. Oh, no. It's like word to word bouncing back and forth between the scripts. Oh. How does your that's the only way your brain works? Least for reciting these episodes. Okay. That would explain a lot. Yeah. That's why I can't like do anything else. And you have eyes like a lizard. Kind of Just looks like I'm just Darting. Void of any thought. Darting out each side of your head. Yeah. All my effort is focused on my eyes. Yes. Well, maybe we should throw back to some music. Yeah, I think our laundry isn't gonna do itself. I think it's done. We gotta start folding. Yeah. Can you fold my my laundry? I have to fold your underwear. Yeah, my git. Oh. Alright. Alright. I iron my git, please. Yeah. No one's gonna do it for you, so you gotta do it. Iron and fold it. Okay. Alright. Or in into an origami. Yeah. Swan. Okay. Into an origami But with your briefs too? Yeah. Yeah. It can be done. Okay. Alright. Well, International Feel, it's laundry day. We're here for another half hour, so stick with us if you feel like getting clean. Welcome back to International Feel. International Feel. On one zero one point five UMFM. International Feel. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't know when that started and I don't want him stop. Yeah. I'll be damned if it ever stops. Yeah. That's probably the best choice you've ever made. I love that you continue to we have a, like, a live on air don't know. Image. What would you call that? I don't even know. Just like a It's our intro. Yeah. Well, it's a secondary intro. It's our yeah. The second It's bumper. It's a callback. It's the bumper callback. It's the bumper callback. Yeah. I love that that you've you've created the bumper callback. Yeah. Thank you. You do it live in the show. So We're not supposed to mention it. It's supposed to go out and flawlessly, but I know. I know. It's supposed to fly in, but the It's supposed to be in the background, but apparently, it caught everyone off surprised me. No. Got promoted to the front. I Well, you do it, and it kind of yeah. You'd we we don't even think twice about it, but we wanted to get a shine of spotlight on it. Thank you. Thank you. Not only are you our nightlife correspondent, you also do some production Professional vocalist. Yeah. Yeah. So thank by the way, have you been doing any assignments for the the late night, nightlife correspondent? Of course. Are you still working at that? He never stopped. So most of those stains that he's been getting I'm just gonna let you guys know this. There's a You've a lot of exotic stains. Well, I'm just know, this is the secret is there's a nightlife every night. Oh. So the night is alive. Wait. Not just on Saturday and Sunday? You don't wait. You're telling me the night lives. Life's too short to wait. The night is alive? Yeah. Every night? Oh, wow. Okay. Just just one little do you have a a tip that incorporates nightlife and also laundry? Yep. I mean, well, actually, maybe. Do you bring bring Tide pen. No. I I was gonna say when you're at your local raves, your glow sticks will break and can go on your clothes and make your cloak glow. Okay. Yeah. So be be a good Yeah. Co raver and bring like a non staining glow stick. Be be a considerate raver. Yeah. Yeah. And and, you know, share glow sticks, you know, like You gotta share. Bring extra. I think that's always a good thing to do because they are gonna break and they're gonna be all over your clothes. And you think you're gonna look cool, but then you're gonna wake up and be like, what happened? You're gonna wake up. Why do I What got in my eyes? What do I glow? Okay. Well, thanks thanks for that tip. Yeah. Just a heads up. Yeah. Yeah. Next time you're next time I'm at a rave, I'm gonna buy a a conscious glow stick. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, laundry friendly glow stick. Yeah. Exactly. Because it's a good it's a good choice to make. Yeah. If you couldn't tell by now, it's laundry day at International Feel. We're washing all the clothes and, you know, in a in a in a a radio setting, we tend to surprisingly dirty a lot of clothes. I mean, we change wardrobes quite often. There's a lot wardrobe changes. So, you know, we're just learning to to make our whites white and our brights bright. And, yeah, I guess right now, we're just about to throw the Flip it over into the dryer. We're about to to throw some stuff in the dryer. Clay Tablet was saying there's like some other settings. It's like this. Yeah. Jet setting. Yeah. So I don't know. Yeah. Okay. So okay. So Check the tablet. Quick to put on these ear things. Yeah. We should because it's the modern ideogram for the atom and thereby also related for the phenomenon. Oh. It is used in many maps for nuclear reactor. Oh. So there's So this seems safe to Yeah. Yeah. Well, should be quick too. Okay. Okay. So all the clothes are in. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Let's let's start up the dryer. Let's turn on the Put your ear plugs in. This this setting here, and away we go. Okay. It's starting up. Sounds pretty good. That's alright. Okay. It's gonna build. This is a nice breeze. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It's kinda tumbling around here. Gentle tumble dry. Yeah. Yeah. Surprised we played up with that. We we've Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. You guys Did you punch in that setting? Yeah. Yeah. We we should probably hold on to something that's bolted to the ground. Think you should tie yourself down. Yeah. This is getting a little out of control. There goes my gitch. Gitch got got. This seems a little excessive for coming Now I only have one sock. I think all our our I don't know. I don't know. I shouldn't have put my my mascot uniform in there. It's probably gonna melt. Yeah. The sequins sequins are shining. Yeah. Looking red hot. Red hot sequins. Red hot sequins. Okay. Alright. Well, this is winding down. That was that was quick. It was unnecessarily quick. Yeah. I think we didn't need a nuclear reactor for that, but Okay. We take that one. Yep. Just taking the stuff out of the line. We probably should work. We got your lead vest on just to pull this stuff out. Yeah. Still hot. It's still hot. Yeah. Oh, it's glowing. Yeah. Oh, but they're so bright. Wow. Those Yeah. The whites are really white. Yeah. The uranium really Yeah. It's a nice Yeah. It really makes the colors pop, you know. So that's that's the trick to a laundry is just use some uranium and use a white tablet. White chocolate on the wash to get the white sweater and white wine chocolate yeah that's the secret a lot of good tips we have some sort of reactor yeah so to dry it in if you want to find out more laundry tips consult your local tablet Yeah laundry laundry tablet. Yeah, you you where'd you find it was like looking at a tunnel under the laundry We were in the oldest Laundry mat that I think has ever existed so well. Yeah, we kind of we kind of peeled away some brick here Yeah, like there's all these hidden tunnels underneath yeah Walk down these stairs. They're really dark stairs. There's a basement, and that's where I found few tablets. Yeah. There's a You just have to chisel them off the wall. Yeah. Yeah. They're just kinda you just pry back some brick. Hey, you wrote this tablet? No. I chiseled it off the wall. Yeah. It looks like it'd been here there for like a hundred years or something. Well, was zero. There was a tablet and it was like it looked like it was kind of being held by us like a skeletal hand. Yeah. And you took it out of the hand. Well, I ripped off the whole arm. You ripped off the what do you use the arm for? Back scratcher. Yeah, if I need to wash them back, you know, it's You can it in shower with you to get those Oh, hard to reach. Unnecessary crevices. Yeah. The unnecessary. That's a good punk band name. Unnecessary crevices. We're the unnecessary crevices. Crust punk. Yeah. It's good. My It's good. Bone hand. Bone hand. Yeah. So what could go wrong? So we learned some laundry tips today, and we got our laundry nice and clean and bright and shiny and Close. Slightly radioactive, I think. Yeah. The uranium. Yeah. But it was fast. It was If have a Geiger counter, hit us on the Yeah. Geiger counting line. We're here for a couple minutes. It's the cost you pay for convenience. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Like slight radiation, but your clothes look good. We're really impatient. Like, I need my clothes cleaned now. Yeah. We're going out. We got we got nightlife. Yeah. We got nightlife. Where we going tonight? We told you. The night lives We're going raving. We're going raving. Oh, did you have some non staining glow sticks? I think we have to create a We gotta make we gotta make a couple stops. Yeah. We might have to do a couple stops or at least make our own brand. Okay. Alright. Well, coming soon international feel, non staining Contchi. Eco friendly eco friendly, conscientious glow sticks. Mhmm. Well, that's that's our show for tonight. We'll be back next week with more of the same. We with fresh clothes, though. We won't have to do laundry again. Yeah. We won't have to do laundry ever again. Ever again, because these are radioactive forever shine Dirt just like flies from it. Yeah. Yeah. It repels the It actually gives me It's light too. It's it's got this crazy kind of It kinda gives me a nice warm tingly feeling. Kinda kinda melty soupy feeling. Yeah. You kinda you kinda look like you're we're looking at a black hole. Yeah. It actually gives you a tan. Yeah. Well, oh. So it's I'm the tan. Tan being in your The vicinity. Yeah. The tan is kinda turning into a heat rash now. Yeah. It's kinda bubbling. I should probably take off these, shirts. Yeah. Well, we'll be back next week. Anything else to add? Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for listening.